The Questionable Allure of Owning Your Own Shit-Machine

As you are no doubt aware, I find it hard to see the point of babies. They scream, shit and puke, and they aren't capable of holding any kind of conversation. In fact, having children generally seems like a nightmare to me - come on, if someone came up to you, a complete stranger, and said "Hi, would you like to shackle yourself to me emotionally and financially for eighteen years or more, in the hope that I will turn out alright and become a useful member of society, even though for much of that time I will scream at you, hate you, and make your life a misery?" would you honestly say yes?!

So, with this in mind, you can understand why I find it so fucking irritating when people, particularly my outlaws, bang on about how He and I should start breeding. Apparently it is not appropriate to answer "The mere thought of being pregnant makes me feel physically repulsed, and as for children themselves - eeeuuuuurrrgh!!!!" as this just encourages smug looks and the most annoying comment of all: "That will change."

NO IT WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And even if it does, it will NOT be a result of your interfering smug bollocks about how the only way a woman can feel fulfilled is by having children. I AM fulfilled! I am fulfilled by using my brain and my intelligence, THAT is how I find fulfilment in what is, if you don't mind me pointing it out, MY life! I am not an extension of Him, I am not a breeding machine, I am an intelligent woman with numerous life skills and THAT is what I base my happiness on. I get fulfilment from working towards my career goals, I get fulfilment from my relationship with my husband - a man I CHOSE, not fell into a marriage with because I didn't want to be alone, or because I didn't feel like a whole person without a man! Any idiot can fuck themselves pregnant, it doesn't take SKILL or INTELLIGENCE! And MY fulfillment is based on enjoying MY life, with my husband, and my career, and my friends, and my studying, and everything else that makes me HAPPY! My life is not any less fulfilled or worthwhile because I haven't chosen to have a shit-machine hanging off my nipple while I cook His dinner and hoover the fucking house!

And just in case you've all forgotten, I'M ONLY TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE!!!!!!!

*deep breath*

Whew. Bit more resentment in there than I realised...

Anyway, the point of this post was going to be: Mars and Venus want to have another baby. This will either scale down the pressure on He and I, or amp it up. Personally, I don't understand why it's all such a big fucking deal. But then, you probably gathered that from the above.