The Long Goodbye?

I'm not sure I'm going to carry on this blog when I come back from holiday.

There, I said it. I've been thinking it for a while, but it's nice to actually write it down.

Don't get me wrong, I'll probably feel differently when I get back, but at the moment I just crave a fresh start so badly. I'm looking forward to the holiday itself enormously, but I'm also looking forward to coming back looking healthy and tanned (yes, yes, I know that's technically a contradiction), caught up on sleep, and ready to make go of things.

One of the big changes will be that from 1st July onwards, His financial affairs will have no effect on me. So frankly He can fuck up as much as He likes, but as long as I extract His money for the joint account as soon as He gets paid, any fuck-ups He may/will make won't really make my life any harder. I know how apallingly selfish that sounds, but I don't care. You know what I've been through over the last few months, so judge at your peril...

I really want to make this holiday a bridge between the terrible, terrible first half of the year and what will hopefully be a much better second half.

I need to start writing again, I need to do more, see my friends more, generally get a life again.

So, anyway, I don't know if I want this blog hanging around my neck as a reminder of all the horrible horrible shit we've been through.

Maybe I'll just start a new one.

Maybe I'll change my mind again.

Maybe a lot of things...