10 Things About Marriage: Part One
As it's now approaching my one year wedding anniversary, and I shall soon have to stop referring to myself as newlywed, I thought I would list some of the things I've learnt over the last year. It's long, so I'll do it in two bits! Today's slice is the negative side...
1. Marriage DOES change things.
I was determined that nothing about Him and me would change by getting married. After all, we lived together already, and marriage wasn't going to change anything about our actual life. But what I didn't realise was that it does change your feelings. I feel more committed to Him, and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's suffocating - the reason I gave before Him for never wanting to get married. The outside world sees you less as two individuals and more as one unit - which can be lovely or depressing, depending on how you look at it.
2. Despite what they might tell you, you don't get tax breaks.
Or at least, we haven't. My pay packet hasn't changed at all. Bastard government.
3. In-laws are (often) a pain in the arse.
I hoped that getting married would help to solve the problems His family have with me/us. It hasn’t. And other married friends reliably inform me that they face the same situation. It seems that if they don’t like you as a girlfriend, they won’t like you any more as a wife.
4. (Some of) Your friends treat you differently.
We seem to have ‘lost’ a lot of friends this year. Partly that has to do with money of course (or lack thereof), but it also has to do with people’s attitudes. Some of our friends seem to think we won’t want to do the traditionally ‘single’ things anymore, like nights out. And that kind of hurts, because I haven’t changed in who I am – I’ve just got married. That doesn’t effect a personality transplant.
5. You have less sex.
You still have sex. You still have good (if not even better) sex. You just don’t have it as often. But then how would the world function if all couples continued to shag like rabbits for years and years after the first ‘honeymoon’ shagging-all-the-time phase?
1. Marriage DOES change things.
I was determined that nothing about Him and me would change by getting married. After all, we lived together already, and marriage wasn't going to change anything about our actual life. But what I didn't realise was that it does change your feelings. I feel more committed to Him, and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's suffocating - the reason I gave before Him for never wanting to get married. The outside world sees you less as two individuals and more as one unit - which can be lovely or depressing, depending on how you look at it.
2. Despite what they might tell you, you don't get tax breaks.
Or at least, we haven't. My pay packet hasn't changed at all. Bastard government.
3. In-laws are (often) a pain in the arse.
I hoped that getting married would help to solve the problems His family have with me/us. It hasn’t. And other married friends reliably inform me that they face the same situation. It seems that if they don’t like you as a girlfriend, they won’t like you any more as a wife.
4. (Some of) Your friends treat you differently.
We seem to have ‘lost’ a lot of friends this year. Partly that has to do with money of course (or lack thereof), but it also has to do with people’s attitudes. Some of our friends seem to think we won’t want to do the traditionally ‘single’ things anymore, like nights out. And that kind of hurts, because I haven’t changed in who I am – I’ve just got married. That doesn’t effect a personality transplant.
5. You have less sex.
You still have sex. You still have good (if not even better) sex. You just don’t have it as often. But then how would the world function if all couples continued to shag like rabbits for years and years after the first ‘honeymoon’ shagging-all-the-time phase?
posted by Mookmoo at 3:00 pm
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