Crushed **UPDATED**
Went on an outing yesterday with Queen of the Irish, Nambo, Cliffhanger, Him (of course) and a couple of others. And it got me thinking:
What, in the context of marriage, is the moral position of a crush?
[Just realised that that opening sounds a bit Sex and the City. I knew I shouldn't have watched a whole series of it on DVD over the bank holiday weekend. Apologies for any Bradshaw-esque overtones...]
I mean, assuming that one would never act upon it, fancying someone else from time to time is pretty normal, right? I've discussed here before my irritation at the fact that once you are married, it is somehow assumed that you don't find other people attractive anymore. Of course you do. You just choose not to do anything about it because you value what you have with your partner/ husband/ whatever more than you value sex with someone else.
But my dilemma is this: it is all very well to stare at a stranger on the tube and have a little fantasy, or to let a guy in a bar buy you a drink and flirt a little bit. But what about when the person you have a crush on is a friend of yours, or even a friend of BOTH of yours? And what if he has a crush on you too? Is there a line beyond which crushing becomes wrong? And if so, have Nambo and I crossed it?
**19/4/06**
Judging by some of the emails I've received on this one, you all think I'm far more of dirty slapper than I actually am. Clearly, then, I need to explain something to you: NOTHING HAPPENED. Someone in my life made comments that made me feel shitty about being friends with someone there's an attraction with. Justified? No. Fair? No. Accurate? No. But we all know that feeling ooky about something doesn't always have to come from a place of justifiable ookiness, and sometimes writing in this blog is a good way to clear things up in my head.
Jesus, I can't believe I feel the need to justify myself to a bunch of strangers, at least half of whom appear to think I'm a moral black hole.
Go fuck yourselves.
What, in the context of marriage, is the moral position of a crush?
[Just realised that that opening sounds a bit Sex and the City. I knew I shouldn't have watched a whole series of it on DVD over the bank holiday weekend. Apologies for any Bradshaw-esque overtones...]
I mean, assuming that one would never act upon it, fancying someone else from time to time is pretty normal, right? I've discussed here before my irritation at the fact that once you are married, it is somehow assumed that you don't find other people attractive anymore. Of course you do. You just choose not to do anything about it because you value what you have with your partner/ husband/ whatever more than you value sex with someone else.
But my dilemma is this: it is all very well to stare at a stranger on the tube and have a little fantasy, or to let a guy in a bar buy you a drink and flirt a little bit. But what about when the person you have a crush on is a friend of yours, or even a friend of BOTH of yours? And what if he has a crush on you too? Is there a line beyond which crushing becomes wrong? And if so, have Nambo and I crossed it?
**19/4/06**
Judging by some of the emails I've received on this one, you all think I'm far more of dirty slapper than I actually am. Clearly, then, I need to explain something to you: NOTHING HAPPENED. Someone in my life made comments that made me feel shitty about being friends with someone there's an attraction with. Justified? No. Fair? No. Accurate? No. But we all know that feeling ooky about something doesn't always have to come from a place of justifiable ookiness, and sometimes writing in this blog is a good way to clear things up in my head.
Jesus, I can't believe I feel the need to justify myself to a bunch of strangers, at least half of whom appear to think I'm a moral black hole.
Go fuck yourselves.
posted by Mookmoo at 12:11 pm
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