Happiness Is...

I'm not unhappy, you know.

I've just read back some of the posts lately, and I feel like I've come across as unhappy. Which I'm not. I'm just... discontent. I'm needing a change again, or something.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's clarity from being away on holiday and having to come back to things. I mean, money and stuff is better, don't get me wrong, but there's still a lot of stuff that isn't fixed. Mainly in my head I suppose, if I'm honest.

Ah, screw it. I'll tell you exactly what it is. And I'm not proud of this, okay?

The London bombings happened. And all I could think about was Beano. So I asked a friend who knows him, is he okay? And yes, he is. But somehow (blabbermouth bitch) the word obviously got back that I'd asked.

So I received this email:

"And I thought you didn't give a shit. I'm touched."

Jesus, I need him out of my head. I really do. Because I honestly don't want him anymore but...

Okay, I do want him. Just not as much as I want Him. Which is harder than not wanting him, but amounts to the same.

Feel free to email me any spells you have for exorcising Ghosts of Lovers Past.