New Years Resolutions
Almost forgot to post these babies...
1. Become virtuous model of restraint in regards to food and drink, at least until post-xmas fat has gone, and can wake up in the morning sans hagover without feeling like I missed out.
2. Become virtuous model of restraint in terms of finances - stop spending money on all of the following:
Shoes (have far too many pairs already, which have spilled off shelves in wardrobe and are threatening to take bedroom hostage)
Bags (I should have known I'd ODed when I had to buy a special storage chest just for pretty/vintage/old skool/embroidered/sassy/worky/etc/etc/etc bag archive)
Retro secretary work skirts (want to be in Lisa & Co and have a fab secretarial job for a man with a curling mustache and glinting eyes, who turns out to have a heart of gold and thighs of steel)
Low cut tops (have hundreds, and must aspire to be known as 'the intelligent girl' rather than 'the girl with the nice tits')
Interesting tights/stockings (except for three more pairs of the rose patterned fishnets I'm wearing today of course)
Knickers (145 pairs at last count. Some may consider this excessive)
3. Stop flirting with all of His mates. Especially learn to never ever even entertain the thought of what they might be like in bed (unless in altruistic "my friends might fancy them" way).
4. Stop spending evenings lying on sofa with feet up shouting instructions to Him while he cooks Jamie Oliver style feasts in the kitchen, but instead learn to cook and be more of a virtuous model of wifeliness - though more in the Desperate Housewives than Stepford fashion, lets face it.
5. Join gym for working out, rather than sitting in sauna/eyeing up talent/drinking smoothies.
6. Try, above all, to become a more poised, cool, aloof and calm person, rather than a stroppy, messy, flirty, busty, drunken drama queen. In other words, attempt to subvert 24 years of personality development.
I'm offering odds of 10,000/1 that I manage the lot, and 7/2 that I keep at least one of them up for the whole of January. Place your bets at Ladbrokes. They love me over there.
Laters xx
1. Become virtuous model of restraint in regards to food and drink, at least until post-xmas fat has gone, and can wake up in the morning sans hagover without feeling like I missed out.
2. Become virtuous model of restraint in terms of finances - stop spending money on all of the following:
Shoes (have far too many pairs already, which have spilled off shelves in wardrobe and are threatening to take bedroom hostage)
Bags (I should have known I'd ODed when I had to buy a special storage chest just for pretty/vintage/old skool/embroidered/sassy/worky/etc/etc/etc bag archive)
Retro secretary work skirts (want to be in Lisa & Co and have a fab secretarial job for a man with a curling mustache and glinting eyes, who turns out to have a heart of gold and thighs of steel)
Low cut tops (have hundreds, and must aspire to be known as 'the intelligent girl' rather than 'the girl with the nice tits')
Interesting tights/stockings (except for three more pairs of the rose patterned fishnets I'm wearing today of course)
Knickers (145 pairs at last count. Some may consider this excessive)
3. Stop flirting with all of His mates. Especially learn to never ever even entertain the thought of what they might be like in bed (unless in altruistic "my friends might fancy them" way).
4. Stop spending evenings lying on sofa with feet up shouting instructions to Him while he cooks Jamie Oliver style feasts in the kitchen, but instead learn to cook and be more of a virtuous model of wifeliness - though more in the Desperate Housewives than Stepford fashion, lets face it.
5. Join gym for working out, rather than sitting in sauna/eyeing up talent/drinking smoothies.
6. Try, above all, to become a more poised, cool, aloof and calm person, rather than a stroppy, messy, flirty, busty, drunken drama queen. In other words, attempt to subvert 24 years of personality development.
I'm offering odds of 10,000/1 that I manage the lot, and 7/2 that I keep at least one of them up for the whole of January. Place your bets at Ladbrokes. They love me over there.
Laters xx
posted by Mookmoo at 4:11 pm
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