Mookmoo's Dinner Party Do's and Don'ts*

DON'T optimistically offer to be in charge of the cooking for a dinner party when you can't actually cook.

DO say "Yes it is a bloody problem" when your other half tells you he has a band practice (or similar commitment) on the day of said dinner party - DON'T say "No problem, I'll get on with the cooking in peace!"

DON'T lose track of time watching Sex and the City on DVD, and especially DON'T fall asleep in front of the TV only to wake up without enough time to cook what you planned.

DO thank God for Marks and Spencer.

DON'T be so thankful that you buy every item of ready-to-cook food they offer.

DO work out a detailed plan of what time each item needs to go in the oven/microwave and what time it needs to come out.

DON'T drink two large glasses of wine before writing said plan.

DO remember to preheat the oven.

DON'T think that whacking the temperature up to max compensates for lack of pre-heating.

DO find time to make yourself look nice for your guests.

DON'T let your other half arrive home to a smell of burnt food and you in the shower.

And, most importantly of all, DON'T tell your guests the real reason that you're having a takeaway: "We've just been soooooo busy at work" is always a good excuse...

*I am of course an impeccable hostess and none of these things have ever actually happened to me personally.

Hanging on the Telephone

I can't decide whether it's romantic or pathetic that even after four and a half years, hearing His voice on the phone still makes me grin like an idiot every time.

"Nothing That is Worth Knowing Can Be Taught"

Usually I tend to agree with things that Oscar said, but on this occasion I'll have to differ. At least in terms of teaching people to speak other languages.

Yes, I had my first teaching practice yesterday. Let loose on real students. The horror!

Actually it was okay. Being a perfectionist of the highest order when it comes to academic stuff, I was never going to be satisfied with it, but my tutor tells me it was very good for a first lesson, and that I have excellent potential. So there you go. I feel like I should be happier with that than I am.

Nonetheless, it was an excellent excuse to have a fat dinner out at our favourite restaurant with lashings of red wine and camembert...

Eggxactly

Reason #3478 why I will never properly understand banks and finance...

Having been instantly rejected for a £800 limit balance transfer card by Sainsburys Bank last week, I've just been offered a £3,500 limit by Egg.

Nothing has changed in the interim, and presumably my credit file looks exactly the same now as it did then.

Anyway, shouldn't moan: I can now pay off my TESOL course fee at 0% interest.

Daddy Wasn't There*

You know it's a negative reflection on the state of your parental relationship when you see your dad's name come up on your ringing phone and the first thing you think is "Oh my God, something must have happened to Supergran**!" because you can't think of any other earthly reason why he'd phone...

* See Austin Powers in Goldmember

** Supergran is actually fine

To Read or Not to Read

Yesterday I was clearing out some of the shoe boxes full of junk that I have stacked on the bookcase in my study, to try to make more room for the growing collection of TEFL books I need to find shelf space for, and I happened across an unlabelled floppy disk.

Naturally, I stuck it in the disk drive of my computer to take a look. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting - some forgotten materpiece I wrote one night while sleepwalking? A treasure map bearing the location of the lost treasures of the Incas?

Actually, it was every email my ex boyfriend ever sent me. I committed them all to disk when we were still together, not wanting to lose the history of our relationship (we were long distance, a LOT of the relationship was conducted via email).

Now, this was... counts on fingers... 5 years ago? 6? But nontheless my stomach somersaulted up into my throat. It's not easy to stumble across a piece of your past so casually thrown into a box. I suspect I threw it there when I was moving out of my house after Uni, probably not remembering what it was.

So, the important question: did I read them? Did I open this electronic box of old love letters and get all sentimental? Or did I snap the disk in half and send the past back to my memories where it belongs?

What do you think I did?

(I bet at least 50% of you will be wrong)